jokes (sorry can't find old thread)

A middle-aged woman

seemed sheepish as she

visited her gynaecologist.

'Come now,' coaxed the doctor,

'you've been seeing me for years.

There's nothing you can't tell me.'

'This one's kind of strange...'

'Let me be the judge of that,'

The doctor replied.

'Well,' she said, 'yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies.'

'I see.'

'That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were some 2p's in the bowl.'
'That
night,' she went on, 'I went again,

Plink-plink-plink, and there were 5p's and this morning there were 10p's
You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!' she implored.

'I'm scared out of my wits!'

The gynaecologist put a comforting
hand on her shoulder.
'There, there, it's nothing to be scared about.'
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'You're simply going through the change!

> Sunday Morning Sex
>
> I will never hear church bells ringing again without
> smiling..
>
> Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed
> away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to
> visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she
> asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother
> replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love
> on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother
> that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely
> be asking for trouble.
>
> "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years
> ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best
> time to do it was when the church bells would start to
> ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and
> even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out
> on the Dong."
>
> She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still
> be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
>
>
>
>
>
>